A Lesbian in God's House Read online

  Kenisha paused from eating. This was the answer to her question. Her mother worked there. The discount was her mother’s. Although it seemed pretty simple and straight forward, even a naïve Kenisha knew that things that seemed simple in life rarely were.

  “Where’s your mom?” Kenisha asked normally as she stuffed her face with organic turkey bacon. “She works here and lives in the city. I was born in Canada but my father was an American which made me a dual citizen.” Taurus responded. “I haven’t spoken to my mom in years, not since my father went to Jamaica with my ex-girlfriend. My mom blamed me. I blamed her. By the time we both realized that we should be blaming him, she and I were no longer communicating. She’d moved from Milwaukee back to Canada and began working here as an in-house accountant.”

  “I was wondering how you got a family discount. I found out when I paid for the food. I wanted to do something nice for you.” Kenisha explained.

  “There’s a family discount on the room?” Taurus asked as she paused from eating altogether.

  “Yea. I thought you’d used it.” Kenisha inquired. “No. I can’t use the discount unless she applies it. That means she knows I’m here.” Taurus became flustered. Her heart began beating faster than her resting heart rate. “The plan was to just run into her casually. What would make her look into the system for my name? She’s an accountant not a front desk clerk. Why would she be looking for my name?”

  “Calm down baby.” Kenisha placed her hands on Taurus’ chest and leaned her back against the headboard. “It’s gonna be fine. Obviously if she saw that you were here and added a discount to your room, she must be happy to know that you’re ok. She’s looking forward to seeing you. This is a good thing. It’s a kind gesture.”

  Taurus began to calm down and eventually began eating again. “You’re right. A kind gesture it is. I wonder if she’ll come to the room to see me or if I should go looking for her.” Taurus became excited to see her mother. They were very close at one point but the coming out as gay became a problem in their relationship. It became even more strained when the affair with Billie and her father came to light and her parents got divorced. Her mother felt like Taurus had brought that girl into their home and ruined her marriage. Taurus was angry at her mother. At that time in her life Taurus felt that if her father had been happier in his marriage then he wouldn’t have done what he did. It was an idiotic logic on both parts, she knew. For years there was no fixing their relationship as mother and daughter but Taurus hoped that they could put it all behind them and start anew.

  Kenisha

  Kenisha was scared out of her mind. Here she was a stranger practically to Taurus’ mother and being pulled into a reunion that she had no business being at. Secondly, when the cause of the feud was a girlfriend who was once in the same position that Kenisha was now currently in, she was certain that Taurus’ mother would hate her immediately. She would probably view Kenisha as just another homosexually deviant home wrecker. Kenisha wondered if she could escape by jumping headfirst into the waterfall. Knowing Taurus, she’d come in after her so that idea wouldn’t work.

  Taurus

  Taurus knew that it was only a matter of time before she ran into her mother. She figured it would be easier for Kenisha if she wasn’t present when it happened. Taurus cared for Kenisha and she knew how her mother could be. Taurus went into the bathroom to pray. She asked God to show her favor with her mother. Taurus prayed that she could forget those things that were behind her and stretch toward the high calling of God through Jesus Christ, only focusing on what’s in her future. She knew that was much easier said than done but she also knew that prayer could always change things. After her prayer she showered and informed Kenisha that she was going for a walk while Kenisha showered and prepared for the day. When Taurus opened the door to exit the room, there stood her mother in the hallway pacing back and forth. Ginger was questioning if she should knock on the door but when she raised her head to see her only child standing in front of her, the stakes had been raised.

  Chapter 9: God’s New Homegirl

  Ginger

  “Hey child.” Ginger spoke as they were the only words that she could find no fault in. She wanted to tread lightly. It was bad enough that she had let her unfaithful husband drive a wedge between them but she didn’t call for years afterwards. It was obvious that Taurus wanted to see her because she came to the hotel. She’d taken a flight all the way to Niagara Falls. Ginger felt that the least she could do was take the walk to the room to say hello but once she got there she felt as if she didn’t know what to say. For at least a full minute the two women stood looking the other over. So much had changed over the years. Ginger had cut her hair. Taurus’ complexion had evened out and she’d lost weight. She’d grown into a beautiful woman although she was still in pants, Ginger thought. In her wildest fantasies she would have opened the door and been a stunning young lady in female clothes but as happy as Ginger was to see her daughter, her disappointment in her lifestyle was still evident.

  “Still waiting to put me in a dress I see.” Taurus commented as she stepped outside of the room closing the door behind her. “No I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth.” Ginger replied. “I’m just glad to see you. You look good, great I mean. You look great.” Ginger provided an insecure smile not knowing if one would be returned to her. Taurus gave a partial smile and rubbed the back of her neck. She always did that when her mother would make her uncomfortable. “You look good too. I like your little haircut.” Taurus returned the compliment.

  “I saw your name on the list when I was balancing the numbers last night before I got off and I gave you a discount on the suite so you can save some money.” Ginger offered information to fill the uncomfortable air. Neither of them had moved since they began their conversation. “I know. My girl told me that she got a discount on the food this afternoon when she ordered so I figured that it was you. I was uh…” Taurus moved slightly closer to Ginger. Gingers heart skipped a beat. She hoped that Taurus was going to hug her. She really wanted that hug. She’d thought about that hug for a long time but Taurus stopped moving forward at a safe distance. “I was uh…on my way to come and find you to say thank you for that.”

  Then it happened.

  Kenisha

  Kenisha was standing near the door listening to the stifled conversation. It was brutal. These were two of the most stubborn women that she had ever listened to hide their emotions. Had Kenisha not known that they were related, she would’ve thought that this was just the hotel employee talking to a customer but even that type of conversation would’ve had more flow.

  “Say This!”

  Words resonated in Kenisha’s spirit in a way that she had felt only once before. At first Kenisha felt like she was losing it because the voice in her head was so powerful and clear.

  “Open the door. Obey me and say this!”

  Kenisha couldn’t describe what was going on in her thoughts but her spirit was led to obey. It was God speaking to her. She wasn’t familiar with his voice so she tried to ignore it. Kenisha began to walk away from the door but every step became more and more uncomfortable. She felt as if she was being pulled in the opposite direction. She suddenly felt achy and nauseated. She frowned from the feeling. Kenisha wasn’t aware that life wasn’t as safe outside of God’s path. He was telling her to do something that she didn’t feel comfortable doing. However, she quickly learned that there was little comfort outside of His will anyway. He wouldn’t force her to do what He asked of her but He did let her know the feeling that would result from ignoring His commands. It was then when it happened.

  Kenisha uncontrollably swung the door opened. Ginger and Taurus shocked at the force of her entering the hallway, they turned to face Kenisha. She walked into the middle of them both and spoke. “Ginger wants to hug you Taurus. Don’t you Ginger?” Kenisha turned to Ginger. “You want to hug her but you want her to come to you. If you want to embrace your daughter, then do it! This moment will
never come again. Your pride is strangling you.” Kenisha stepped in Gingers face and with the thumb of her right hand she pushed Ginger in the forehead and commanded “RELEASE!” Ginger stumbled backward barely catching her own fall. She moved toward Kenisha with anger on her face but it quickly changed. She stood still as if she was caught in thought.

  Taurus

  Taurus was shocked that Kenisha stormed out of the room the way that she had. It wasn’t in her nature. It was almost as if…Taurus saw a light engulfing Kenisha. She noticed that it was a still light that moved when she moved and vibrated with her speech. Taurus knew what was happening. “God don’t do this.” Taurus thought privately. “She’s not ready for this. I know that you’re using her right now but she’s not ready for this life. This life is hard. I know. I live it. The things that you have me do, this gift, she can’t handle this.” Taurus’ thoughts were strong toward God.

  Taurus stood silent in the mist of the situation while God used Kenisha. As her mother struggled to catch her fall after Kenisha pushed her forehead, God responded in spirit to Taurus. “Who are you to tell me who not to use? I know her for I created her. Your thoughts are not my thoughts. If she were not ready, am I not a God of preparation and infinite strength. I can make her more prepared than you!”

  Taurus realized that as usual, God was right. It was her own fear for Kenisha’s sanity that made her question God, so Taurus said nothing as Kenisha continued to confront her mother. Taurus was certain that Ginger was going to tear Kenisha to pieces but instead she did something else. Ginger rush toward Taurus and took her daughter into her arms. She squeezed her tight. It was the hug that she had been dreaming about for all those years. Taurus overcome with emotion hugged her back. She smelled her hair. The familiar scent of her mother overwhelmed her. Taurus lifted her mother into the air and swung her around and they laughed. The two of them laughed. Ginger kissed Taurus’ face and she did…release her pride.

  “I’ve been waiting so long to see you. I thought about you every day. I didn’t even go home last night after I got off because I didn’t want you to leave and I didn’t get a chance to see you. I’ve been pacing the floors for hours. I have so much to tell you. I wanna know everything that’s going on with you. I love you so much. You mean the world to me. You’re my only baby. You’ll always be my baby. I don’t care what you wear. A minute ago I didn’t know what you wore because I didn’t see you but at least I can see you and touch you now.” Ginger rambled on and on and Taurus smiled like never before. She was speechless. She had never heard her mother talk this way about her. She wasn’t an emotional person; if she was she’d never shown it before. That was a lot of the problem in her marriage and with her relationship with Taurus growing up but now it was like a faucet was turned on and out came everything that Taurus had been waiting to hear. They were so caught up in their conversation that they went down to the bar in the elevator still talking ignoring the fact that Kenisha had retreated into the room minutes earlier.

  Kenisha

  While the mother and daughter team was undergoing a transformation in their relationship, Kenisha was undergoing her own spiritual experience. She was caught in an uncontrollable worship. She was crying and couldn’t stop it. Her hands were raised high to the ceiling and she danced the dance of Miriam after the parting of the Red Sea. Kenisha was overtaken by The Holy Spirit and was receiving a clearer understanding like never before. She understood what happened earlier in the hallway. She recognized the voice from when He said “BE DESPERATE FOR ME.” It was Him. She yelled and screamed and danced and praised. This was her moment. Kenisha was learning that coming into fellowship with people and creating soul ties bonded them together. The spirits around them will become the spirits around you. Gratefully the spirits that were surrounding Taurus belonged to God. Kenisha’s feelings of fear to venture out were results of being surrounded by her mother who was covered in negative spirits of judgment and envy amongst other things. Kenisha had been led to the right woman. Taurus was one of God’s favorite children. Kenisha was now in the presence of favor and abundance. It felt great, so she danced; but the thing about greatness is…IT COSTS.

  Chapter 10: The Price of Greatness

  Ginger

  While Taurus sat at the hotel bar and caught Ginger up on all the things that she had been missing in her life, Ginger was attentive and interested. She had never seen herself being so interactive. She had always been afraid of rejection so she wouldn’t offer anything to the people that she loved out of fear that she would be offering something that wouldn’t be accepted. That was all gone. She didn’t know what that little heifer upstairs had done but it worked. Under normal circumstances there would’ve been no way that Ginger would’ve let some young gay hussy that was dating her daughter step to her in that way but if healing was the result, then Ginger knew that she wouldn’t have gone back and changed a thing. Those current moments with her daughter were priceless.

  “I’m seeing someone.” Ginger said.

  Taurus took a sip of her wine with a raised eyebrow. “You’re seeing someone? Someone like who? Ain’t nobody got time for that!” They both laughed at the youthful comment.

  “He’s a pastor at the local church by my house. We’ve been going out for a while now. He’s something else. I want you to meet him. Come to church with me tomorrow so that I can introduce you.” Ginger requested.

  Things were going so well, there was no way that Taurus was going to turn down that invitation. She hadn’t been to church with her mother in so long that it seemed only right to go to God’s house and give praise for the reuniting of their kinship. “That’s great momma. We’d love to go.” Ginger hesitated. She had a mind to think about the last time she introduced one of her daughter’s girlfriends to her mate. It didn’t end well. Taurus saw the concern on her face so she responded.

  “She’s nothing like Billie. I know that’s what you’re thinking right? About what happened with Billie? Well don’t. She’s a Godsend momma. She’s what I deserve. She’s a good woman. She listens to me. She forgives me when I’m wrong. Do you think I’d be so easy with introducing her to people if I felt like it would be a Billie remix?” Taurus looked to her mother for a response.

  “I just want you to be happy baby. These women out here, they see your heart and they want to take advantage of it.” Ginger responded.

  “But not her momma, not her. She’s different. I’d put my life on the fact that she ain’t nothing like the others.” Taurus persuaded.

  “You put your life on the last one.” Ginger said with concern. “I never put my life on the last one. I put my heart on it though and it got broken.” Taurus interjected.

  “Well your heart is your life isn’t it?” Ginger retorted. “I had a different life back then. This new life is better. I have a leader now.” Taurus smiled. It was obvious that there was no beating her at this conversation so Ginger conceded with a toast of the wine glasses.

  “Tomorrow morning at 10:00am.” Said Ginger.

  Taurus

  That night after exploring the tourist adventures of the city on their own, Taurus and Kenisha turned in early after a late dinner. They cuddled in bed and watched television and discussed the happenings of the day. Soon they drifted off to sleep knowing that they had to be ready when Ginger arrived to pick them up for church the next morning.

  Bright and early at 9:00am Ginger arrived to pick them up for their day with the Lord and Pastor Fillmore. Taurus and Kenisha galloped into the elevator and out to the car with such excitement. Who knew that there was a nondenominational church in Niagara Falls? Obviously Jesus is everywhere. Ginger was so pleased with what they were wearing. Taurus stayed true to herself and compromised by putting on a blazer with a slight curve in the waist that displayed a more feminine cut with her dress slacks and dominant loafers. Kenisha wore a contemporary church dress that was slightly above the knee with a fashion forward floral pattern and a navy blue sweater draped over her shoulders.


  When they arrived to the church outside, they were delighted to see a wide variety of faces, races and ages. This was exactly what the Body of Christ looked like, diverse. They parked the car and walked into the vintage building with clean architecture smiling at people all the way. The saints were smiling to them as newcomers. Taurus wasn’t sure if it was because they were with Ginger, the pastor’s girlfriend or if it was their normal behavior. However, although everything looked wonderful and the actions were perfect, something didn’t feel right in Taurus’ spirit. With things finally being sewn together with her and her mother the last thing that Taurus wanted to do was say anything bad about that church. Taurus was sure of her plan. She would sit, smile, pray and go on about her business. The thing that Taurus should have known is that God’s plans would always supersede hers.

  Kenisha

  The church was beautiful and Kenisha was so grateful to be joining Taurus and her mom there. After hearing what happened with Taurus’ ex Billie and Taurus’ father, Kenisha knew that her mother would be leery of her presence. Kenisha was fully prepared to attach herself to Taurus’ side, smile, grin, pray, and then leave.

  Something didn’t seem right about that perfect church to Kenisha though. The people were smiling and the choir was singing but there was something that Kenisha couldn’t quite put her hands on. Nonetheless, they entered the building and sat in the special seating in the front row that was reserved for Ginger, the pastor’s courted girlfriend.

  After everyone was seated, Pastor Fillmore emerged onto the stage. His personality was larger than life and he was truly adored by his flock. He smiled with the eyes of a genuine man but there was still something not right about it all.